Baby names: the good, the bad and the illegal!

I can still remember when I was pregnant with my first child, I fought with my now ex-husband over the name.  I wanted something that he wouldn’t be made fun of and he wanted to name him…are you ready for this?  Versace.  Yep, seriously, we fought and fought.  I told him if he tried to name him Versace I would call the hospital security and tell them I had no idea who this crazy man was in my room and to remove him.  Ha!

I was searching the web and found an article about illegal baby names and thought they were hilarious.  So I then went to search for popular baby names and the worst baby names.   Sounds a little bit like If you give Amber a news article, doesn’t it?  :) 

Illegal Names:

These names were banned for one reason or another in the various countries.

  • Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (New Zealand) – A judge had the 9-year-old girl changer her name during a custody hearing stating that “It makes a fool of the child.”  I would have to agree there.  Could you imagine learning to write your name as a child?  Wow!  Other names that were banned in New Zealand include Fish and Chips (twins), Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit.  For real.
  • Venerdi AKA ‘Friday’ (Italy) – Maybe this isn’t that bad of a name.  Could be much worse, but when the couple was told they could not name their child Venerdi, they stated that they would name their next child Mercoledi (Wednesday).  Other names in Italy that were banned were Andrea (for a boy) and Dalmata (Dalmation).
  • Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (Sweden) – My kids are not playing on the computer, this is what one couple in Sweden tried to name their child.  They say it is pronounced  ‘Albin’….but I REALLY don’t see how.  Sweden has had some crazy names bans, including Metallica, IKEA, Veranda and Q.  On a brighter note, Google was okay.
  • Gesher AKA ‘Bridge’ (Norway) – A mother of 13 children tried to name her child Gesher which is Hebrew for Bridge.  She was actually put in jail for two days for failure to pay a fine for having an unapproved name for her son.
  • Chow Tow AKA ‘Smelly Head’ (Malaysia) – Malaysia has began to crack down on names such as Chow Tow, which means Smelly Head.  Poor kid, imagine a kid with that name on the playground, talk about ammo!  They have also banned Ah Chwar (‘Snake’), Khiow Khoo (‘Hunchback’), Sor Chai (‘Insane’).
  • @ (China) – No, I didn’t forget the letters, that is really what some people attempted to name their children, “@”.  I guess that symbol is very close to the Chinese symbol for ‘love him’.  Sweet, but come on!
  • Miatt (Germany) – Germans have banned the name Miatt because you could not tell if the name was a boy or girl.  They have also banned Stompie, Woodstock and Grammophon.  On a stranger note, the names Speedy, Lafayette and Jazz were allowed.
  • Anus (Denmark) – In Denmark, parents are given 7,000 names to choose from.  If they want to deviate from this list, they must have special permission.  This poor child’s name didn’t make the cut, luckily!
  • Ovnis (Portugal) – To name your child in Portugal, you must first check this 80 page document, which gives all of the names that are and aren’t allowed.  Luckily Ovnis, Portuguese for UFO is banned.
  • Akuma AKA Devil (Japan) – Authorities in Japan stated that naming a child Akuma, which is Japanese for Devil was an abuse of the fathers authority.  After a long battle, the father finally backed down and chose a different name.

When you are naming your baby, here are some great tips to help you pick the perfect name:

  1. Start looking for names early.  You may change your mind and you would hate to make a rush decision.
  2. Look online!  There are so many resources available.
  3. Think about ways the name could be used in schoolyard banter.  Would it be easy for kids to make fun of their name?
  4. Will the name work as an adult as well?  A name may be cute for a child, but will it work as an adult?  Will they be able to be taken seriously on the job with that name?
  5. Look at classic names, it is a classic because it is timeless.
  6. You don’t have to follow the trends and common names.  A trendy name today maybe not be as cute and trendy a few years down the road.
  7. Be careful going TOO unique.  A name that is too unique may be difficult when they grow up.  It may be hard to pronounce or spell, causing a stressful situation throughout life.
  8. Look at your family and think about possibly naming your child after a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc.
  9. Make sure your name jives.  Does the first, middle and last name sound good together?  What about just the first and last name?
  10. Be careful of gender neutral names because they may have trouble with gender identification growing up.
  11. Research the meaning of the name you choose.  Check all the meanings.
  12. Beware of spelling variants.  Names that are spelled similar may not be pronounced the same.  You will have to be ready or that. (My daughter, Kylie is always called Kaylie….but we’re used to it and simply correct them).
  13. Check the initials!  Imagine naming your child something that when he puts his initials spells out S.O.B or worse!
  14. Be careful when you get too creative.  While you may think it’s unique to name your child something off the wall, they may resent you for it when they grow up.
  15. Most importantly, make sure you love the name.  If you can’t agree on a name, keep brainstorming until something fits.
  16. Don’t let family and friends have an impact on the name you choose!  They may have their own idea of what you should name the baby, but it is your decision.


  1. Heidi Daily says

    My husband and I are now struggling through coming up with a boy’s name. When I was pregnant with our daughter we had no problem coming up with a girl’s name, in fact we had it picked out before the first doctor’s appointment. A boys name however, we never did come to agreement on a boy’s name, my husband loves the name Brock, which I don’t care for, but he took it even further he said if it was a boy he could use his middle name, Lee, and his name could be Brock Lee. He went on to say how much fun it would be to say at dinner “eat your broccoli, Brock Lee” . He quickly lost naming privlages!

    • says

      LOL! That sounds like something my husband would say! Naming kids is so hard! I was going to move out of the country if my ex tried to push naming my oldest Versace…lol…..I was like there is no way in hell! lol!

  2. Cheryl says

    I went through a naming crisis myself when I was pregnant, for 7 months we thought it was a girl and for some crazy reason I was set on calling my daughter Video (crazy right 😯 ) but luckily we found out it was expecting a boy and I called him Teejay. Still don’t know what I was thinking wanting to name my daughter Video luckily it never came to that.

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