You can’t judge a book by it’s cover…..of course, I’m not really talking books here. I’m talking about judging someone without knowing their background, their story or what’s going on in their life.
There are times that I am out and probably look like a crazy person. I might be mad, stressed out or ready to cry. Don’t judge me without knowing what’s going on.
My two oldest children have mood disorders. My daughter was diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder and my oldest son is Bipolar. I feel that I have always been judged on my parenting, that my kids weren’t angels out in public or whatever. Yes, I know my kids throw fits, they talk back, they fight. It is hard to deal with on a daily basis…..but it’s what I live with. If you see me out with the kids and my temper is short and I look mad, it might be because I have already had a really hard day with my kids and can hardly handle it anymore. If you don’t have a child with these issues, you aren’t going to understand what it is like to deal with it. Don’t try to tell me what worked with your children because I bet I’ve tried it and it hasn’t worked for me. We’ve had the kids in counseling for nearly 7 years and tried many things…but I don’t have “normal” kids.
It might be stressed because I got in a bill that we don’t have the money for right now and I’m not sure how we are going to pay it. My mind might be going in a million directions trying to figure out what we have to sell or what I can do to make the money really quick. I might be wondering if I spend money on food for the house or paying the bills, which could I get by with putting off for another day?
There are so many other scenarios as what could be going on behind the scenes that even my closest friends don’t know about…don’t judge me. You don’t know what I’m going through.
I don’t try to judge anyone….regardless of what they are doing.
People judge strippers all the time. You don’t know why they are stripping or what is going on. I have many, many friends that are or were strippers. Some of them did it for easy money, others did it because they could make more money that way than a normal job and have more flexibility to raise their children on their own. Just because they were stripping doesn’t mean they are sleeping with a bunch of men…maybe they are. Is it my business? Nope. Do I care what they do? Absolutely not. It doesn’t effect me. If they are happy, isn’t that what matters?
I don’t judge anyone. A cheating man/woman? Maybe there is a reason. Maybe they need that comfort from someone else because they are in a bad relationship Maybe they are beaten or get told on a daily basis what a horrible person they are? Maybe that isn’t the case, but how would you know what is really going on in their head, in their lives?
Remember that no one is perfect and we have all done things that an outsider may not fully support….but we all had reasons.
That is my rant for the day….please don’t judge someone…you don’t know what they are going through or why they made the decision they did.
About Amber
I could not agree more. All too often we pass judgement on someone without knowing their full story, without walking a mile in their shoes. Am I guilty of this? Sure. But I’ve made a conscious effort over the past year to stop doing that and start seeing things from other’s perspective, to stop and consider why they do what they do or have made the decisions they have. Nothing is ever as black and white as it may appear. There are shades of grey everywhere.
Thank you for writing such a truthful post. I think we all need reminders like this every once in awhile.
Well said, Amber, and I completely agree with you. It always seems like I find things like this that I need to read at the exact time I need to read it. Thank you.
Thank you Brad! People area always quick to judge and you have no idea why that decision was made or why someone acts in a certain way. This is true in so many circumstances. I am judged on a daily basis…..I’m tired of it. I don’t throw stones, quick making me dodge the ones that are thrown at me!
Very true. I agree we shouldn’t judge people. I learned this lesson really young watching people struggling. In High School one of our teachers shared that the reason he was so moody during the Holidays was because he had lost a child in a horrific accident during the Holidays and the Holiday’s bring back those memories.
Exactly! You just never really know what someone is going through…even something that you may believe there is no excuse for….you may feel differently if you really take a step back and see what is going on.