My jaw drops to floor as I hear the words coming out of the psychiatrist’s mouth.
“At this point I think it would be a good idea to take her off everything. We will have a fresh start and be able to tell if it is chemical or behavioral.”
I immediately felt sick to my stomach. We’ve gone without any meds before and it was pure hell. The violence increases, the mood swings go out of control. I don’t know if I could handle it again.
My head is shaking no as I look over to her BMS (Behavior Management Services) and he is shaking his head yes. I felt a state of panic come over my body, but what am I supposed to do. Shouldn’t he be on MY side. Shouldn’t he understand what this will do to my family?
When I’m asked what I think, I tell them that I’ve tried it before and had really bad experiences. I am reassured I have a new team I’m working with and I’ll have more support than I did back then.
I get that….BUT……can my family handle this right now?
Earlier this week we had an outburst that caused us to keep her in a safety hold for over an hour. We had the therapist on the phone, walking us through everything we should/shouldn’t be doing. It was exhausting. My family was holding on by a very thin thread. We are tired, we are frustrated and just want a peaceful home.
I didn’t know what to do. I felt like a little puppy, scared and shaking in the corner not knowing which way to run. I didn’t want to do this but everyone else says this is what to do. What do I do?!?
I agree, okay. Fine. You win. How can I tell the professionals I think they’ve lost their minds? Do they know what they are doing to our family? Do they realized they are basically throwing us out to the wolves? Do they even care?
Feeling defeated and my heart racing, I leave and call my husband.
“So, they are taking her off of all of her meds.”
“WHAT?!?! Why would they do that? I can’t believe they would do that! I can’t believe YOU agreed to that!”
It got much more colorful from there. He was mad, and rightfully so. Okay, so maybe I agreed and shouldn’t have. What do you do when you’re backed into a corner though?
I called her therapist and told her what had happened. She was surprised and said she’d talk it over with her boss.
A few hours later I get a call back and she wants to come talk to us. Great……she’s no longer on our side.
We have a meeting and she explains why it’s a good idea but says it is ultimately our choice. We are the parents and we can disagree with the doctor.
In the end, we decide it’s best to keep her on her meds. I called the doctor back this morning and told her that I need a prescription. We can’t handle her without anything right now. Maybe later, but I don’t care what the “professionals” have to say, this our family and we’re the ones that have to live with their “recommendations”.
What would you have done if this was your daughter? Would you have accepted their recommendation and dealt with the out of control behavior or would you have spoke up and said there was no way in hell?