Your dog is not a child…..

I have many pet peeves, but one of my biggest is when I talk to someone who has a dog and says it is their baby and compares it to my children.  A dog is not a child.  You can love your dog (or fur baby as many of you like to call them), you can spoil your dog..but your dog is not a child.  There are so many reasons you can not, ever, compare a dog to a child.

Know what’s cool?  Even the dog whisperer himself, Cesar Millan, agrees you should not humanize your dog.  He kinda knows his stuff…..I’d listen to him.

I see the people walking around with their dogs in strollers and buying expensive clothing and accessories….shoot, I’ve even heard of doggie spa days.  Seriously.  I don’t get spa days, why should a dog get a puppy massage?


Before all the dog lovers start calling me an animal hate, let me say this.  I have two dogs (one is in the pic above…..isn’t his squished up face cute, or so ugly it’s cute?!?!).  We love our dogs…but they are dogs.  There is a huge difference in how we care for them compared to our kids…..because kids are HUMAN and dogs are not.   Here is list of just some of the reasons they are different.  There are hundreds upon thousands of reasons, but here are the first that came to mind…….

  1. If my child starts screaming I can not put a shock collar on him/her.
  2. When I leave the house for the day, I can not lock the kids in the back yard with a bowl of food and water.
  3. After my child is potty trained, I don’t have to keep picking up it’s poop in the back yard (SCORE!)
  4. When my baby gets out of his crib at night, I can’t lock him in a crate.  
  5. You think it’s cute to buy your dog clothes, but they don’t need them and grow out of them weekly.  
  6. When I potty train my child and they have an accident on the floor, I can’t rub their face in it and put them outside.  
  7. I can’t teach my toddler to sit and stay.  
  8. My kid can’t live on a $20 bag of food for the next two weeks.  
  9. I can’t hit my kids with a newspaper or spray them with a water bottle when they are bad.  
  10. When you run out of something for a recipe you can run to the store real quick, without your dog.  
  11. When your dog is bored it may chew on your favorite shoes, unlike a mischevious kid that could try to play with matches.  
  12. When my kid is yelling (or biting) I can’t put a muzzle on them to get them to stop.  
  13. It is not acceptable for my kid to eat their dinner out of a bowl on the floor.  
  14. Your dog can walk around with it’s tongue sticking out, but when my kid does it they are disrespectful.  
  15. Your (male) dog lifts it’s leg to pee, I teach my boys NOT to do that so I don’t have to clean up the mess.  
  16. I can’t kennel my kids when they misbehave to teach them a lesson.  
  17. I certainly hope my kids aren’t humping the stuffed animals that are left on the floor around the house.  
  18. I can’t just shave my kids when they need a haircut.  
  19. I cant’ give my kids Greenies for good dental hygiene.
  20. My kids don’t bark and chase the mailman/UPS/FedEx when he comes to bring a package; they actually get excited and run to see if it’s for them.  
  21. You’ll never have to start saving for doggie college unlike parents that need to start saving 5 years before the kid is born.  
  22. I can’t wait until my kids start to smell to give them a bath.  
  23. You can house train your dog in a few months, where as each of my children have taken 2-3 years.
  24. You can’t let your kids outside to poop.
  25. Your dog will never ask you to explain where puppies come from.
  26. As your dog gets older you won’t have to worry about him going through your things when you leave him home alone.
  27. My kid won’t stop to pee on things when we take a walk.
  28. My kid won’t wake me up with the sound of him licking his own balls.
  29. Your dog won’t cry and whine because Dora isn’t on TV right now.
  30. My kids have opposable thumbs.

and last but not least….Your dog didn’t kick you in the guts for 9 months.

So there you have…there are reasons dogs and kids are so much different.  Most of these could also be interchanged with cat, pony or even pet pig…but you get the idea.  Kids and animals are not the same.  You can love your pet, but don’t compare it to what I do as a parent.


  1. says

    Love this! You’ve made very valid points. The part about humping the stuffed animals actually had me roaring. So dang true. I love our pug, but she’s definitely not my child. And I do believe comparing a child to a dog is wrong. They aren’t the same.

  2. says

    OMG, I freaking love this! I’ve seen people wanting a pet tax credit & although we have 5 pets, I think its ridiculous – mainly for most of the reasons you mentioned. The cats can even be left home alone for days with a good auto waterer, self-feeding system, and a clean litter box. Pretty sure I’d be in a ton of trouble if I tried that with the kids…

    #29 – I did have a cat that would meow if you shut off animal planet, for a good 5 minutes though.

  3. Kayla says

    You make valid points, but at the same time, you possibly should consider why some people do it. In some cases, the family/person can not have children (for whatever reason), and this is the closest they can possibly come to having children. I mean, as long as it’s not hurting you, it’s no big deal, right? :) Just something to consider. :)

    • says

      I’m not saying you can’t love your pets like family, I’m not saying you can’t spoil your dogs…I’m saying, it isn’t the same as raising a child. Having a dog isn’t the same as parenting. They are completely different on SO many levels.

  4. says

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! This really bug me, thanks for addressing. I understand that a dog may be closest some people may get to being a parental figure. But dogs are animals, they will never speak!

  5. Deanna says

    I LOVE THIS!!! I get so annoyed with people calling pets ‘babies’ or fur babies and my sister does it!!! under my skin!! I have 5 kids—they are my kids, not my pets! I love and respect my pets but they are PETS!!!

    so, does your (pet) kid have a SS# —then they are not a kid!!!!! Really people!!!

  6. serina says

    My husband wanted a dog for a long time. I completely disagreed, I knew what would be involved and I was not prepared to give my time and patience to the animal and found it would be unfair to take a puppy into a home where one person wanted it and the other did not. I made him aware of this on several occasions. He went and got it anyway. SO FIVE MONTHS down the line..the dog is lovely and well mannered but my apoartment does not feel like my home anymore…it smells like dog, he sleeps on my laundry is piled high because I have to wash rugs and blankets more often now. My carpet is ABSOLUTLEY DESTORYED… and I took up the subject again about getting the dog his own bed and my husband flipped he was like why cant you do this and that with him, why are you picking on him?…I was like excuse me?? I made my decision about this dog 6 months ignored it and now your shouting at me, so he turns around and says well forget about having children with me when this is the kind of mother you will be… I could not believe what he said… I am devastated… I told him he was an ignorant pig and said clearly you have chosen the dog over your marriage because no woman should have to listen to that vile ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE MADE HER POINT CLEAR FROM THE BEGINNING….
    I have made sooo many compromises for this man in my life and I love him with all my heart but I really do not think that is something I need to be subjected to… I think the dog is a lovely wee thing and honestly is well trained but my husband has no right to speak to me like that… I have worked with children all my life and have been complimented by so many people on my kind nature and ability to interact with children and as for animals..I love them, always have and lived on a farm growing up so there is no issue there…
    Sorry for ranting! I just want to say thank you for writing this blog. means alot. and I dont feel so crazy anymore!!


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